My Box-Shaped Heart by Rachael Lucas

Author:Rachael Lucas
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Pan Macmillan UK

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

It’s a week into the holidays, and Neil’s here, dropping off Lauren. ‘You’re looking well,’ he says, grinning widely at me.

I swear he can tell there’s something different about me. He gave me a funny look as soon as he got out of the car. And Mum said this morning she thought I looked happy. I don’t know whether to be glad that having some sort of life means I look cheerful, or concerned that it means my normal face looks like the end of the world is nigh.

Lauren’s standing in the hall with a chic-looking travel suitcase at her feet and what looks like some sort of make-up holdall over her shoulder. She would have a special case for carrying all her MAC stuff. My make-up comes from Superdrug and is shoved in an old toilet bag with the pattern all faded on the side where the sun shines on it on the bathroom window ledge.

‘I really appreciate this, Fi,’ Neil is saying. He peels off a wodge of twenty-pound notes, which he’s taken out of his back pocket. ‘Just to keep you lot going. I don’t want you going without.’

‘You don’t have to,’ Mum says haltingly.

I give her a fierce look. We’ve got no food in, and she doesn’t get her child benefit until tomorrow, and I for one am more than happy to spend Neil’s money on a trip to Tesco to buy something for dinner that isn’t freezer remnants. We’ve been living on that for the last five days after a bill came in that Mum had forgotten about. But there’s a difference – she’s been working out her finances with Cressi, sitting at the kitchen table with a spreadsheet on the ancient laptop that whirrs and groans and takes five minutes to come to life. It feels like maybe we might just make it. Especially if Neil’s given us—

‘Three hundred quid,’ he says, handing over a wodge of notes to Mum. ‘And here’s a bit for you too, Holls. I’ve given Lauren some already. Don’t want you two pulling hair and fighting like the old days.’ He gives Mum a wink.

She shakes her head and catches my eye for a second afterwards, giving me a look that says, Just humour him; he’ll be gone soon.

‘Thanks,’ I say, surprised. He’s given me three brand-new twenty-pound notes. ‘That’s –’ I stop for a second, looking sideways at Lauren, wondering how this makes her feel. I smile at Neil, and it’s a genuine one tinged with relief that he’s going, even if it does mean he’s leaving Lauren here with us, and I have no idea how that’s going to go. ‘Thank you.’

‘Holly’s sorted the room out for you,’ Mum says as Neil drops a kiss on Lauren’s forehead and disappears – the door closing and silence falling instantly.

Her father brings a cloud of noise and performance with him wherever he goes – it’s all an act, though. He’s all about show and having the right clothes and the right car and the right everything.

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